37 I don’t want this
We stood over the positive tests in silent, I swear my life flashed before my eyes when I saw the two pink lips; I saw myself holding a baby alone, sitting in the hospital alone without Xavier. I didn't know what to think, I was pregnant. I had a living human inside me. This wasn't were I saw myself in a few months, I was met to be getting my high school diploma, not having a baby!
"We can't tell him" I look at Stephanie panicked
"I can't have this baby Stephanie" I say breathing heavy. I don't want this baby, I wasn't ready for this. I was careful, how did this happen. I took the pills, if I didn't I wouldn't be as surprised as I was.
"You're just panicking right now" Stephanie says trying to calm me.
We locked ourselves in the bathroom in my room, Xavier and Alan still wasn't back. And I didn't want Dan too hear us. It took me a while to finally have the courage too pee on the stick.
"No, no" I mumble "Xavier doesn't want this. I don't want this"
"This can be a good thing" she tells me "babies bring people together"
"Oh my god, It could be more than one in there" I panicked
"I doubt that Vanessa, even if there is, you have me to help. I'm not leaving you"
"You don't understand, they want my baby. Whatever they call themselves want my baby" I tell her
"They don't know, Xavier will never let them take you" she pulled me in for a hug
"Stephanie I can't keep this baby" I whisper in her ear.
The possibility that they can take it away scared me. I don't my child or anyone's child to go through whatever they did. They were still looking for me, my own father. And I had what they wanted now, a baby.
"I can't" I pull away to wipe my tears. I just had to make sure Xavier doesn't find out. Picking up the test, throwing it in the trash.
"I'm gonna need your help" I say looking at her.
Walking out to the room, looking for the laptop. If I can find what I was looking for it wouldn't be easy; the nearest hospital. But I can do it.
"To drive me to a hospital" her eye widen and she looked at me like I was crazy. Which at this point I was.
"Are you crazy, you can't do this Vanessa!" She yells at me "Xavier will hate you"
Ignoring her, I picked up a bag and started stuffing my clothes inside. He won't know. "Just drive me and drop me off" I say
"You don't have to be a part of it" I stopped and looked at her before leaving the room
"Why are you talking clothes!" She yells after me.
"Xavier will kill me if he finds out I helped you"
Ignoring her I looked for the black small bag, I was making a mess of his wardrobe but I know he kept it in here somewhere.
"Vanessa!" She screams getting my attention "you can't leave him" she pleaded
"I'm not leaving for long" I tell her, I can't come home bleeding, I will find a motel to stay for a day.
"Do you think he will forgive you when he finds out" she whispers looking down at my stomach
"That's why you won't tell him Stephanie" I warn her
"What the fuck will I say when he notices that your missing. Which by the way will be hard too miss!"
"Stop yelling-" didn't want Dan to come and look for us
"Just say I needed a few days to think about us and I will be back" she laughs nervously when I said that
"Your not thinking clearly right now, let's sit down and talk about this" she offers
Pulling the bag out the wardrobe. I opened it making sure everything was inside. Pulling out the fake passports, I placed his on the dresser. There was a small amount of money inside, I will need this. I closed it and put it in the bag I was taking.
"Vanessa, please think. You can't kill your baby, you will never forgive yourself"
"It's not safe for him or her in this wor...." I paused when I heard a loud bang coming from downstairs.
We looked at each other alarmed were they back? She started moving towards the door. She was going to tell him.
"Stephanie wait!" I whispered that didn't sounded like a door closing. But she was already out the door.
"Stephanie!" I went after her but she was already walking down the stairs. I dropped the bag down, trying to listen to here voices but I didn't hear anything. It was too silent, I felt the hairs raising on my arms.
"Dan!?" I called out taking the stairs one at a time. He didn't answer me, "Stephanie" I called out again. Still no answer, what the hell?
"Well hello princess" I hear the taunting voice that haunts my dreams
I stared in horror at the person standing at the bottom of the stairs. The blood in my face drained looking at his smirking face, I stood there frozen.
"Vanessa!" Stephanie shrills sounding faraway, I heard a loud bang then silence
"Where is she!" I scream at him.
"I'm here for you Vanessa" he says taking the stairs
Looked at him panicked, he was going to take me back. I move to run back upstairs, I won't let him take me back. I felt his hands on my ankle pulling my legs making me tumble down the stairs.
I screamed out in pain when I hit the wooded floor at his feet. My looked up at him. "Josh please don't" I begged.
"Shut up!" he yell kicking my head.
My eyes rolled back when he boot connected with my head.
"Do you know how much trouble you got me in last time. I should have known Xavier would rebel against his father and too think you've been here fucking him all this time!"
"I'm sorry for what they did to you" I whisper, I knew this wasn't his fault, they made him this way.
"Shut up whore!" he kicked stomach hard catching me off guard "you have no idea". I scream out in pain, I could taste blood in my mouth, putting my arms around my stomach. The baby.
"I wish I could see his face when he finds out we have you" he gets down and says in my face, I felt his hot breath on my face.
"Please don't" I begged "you don't have to do this"
"But I do Vanessa, we need you to provide our next Lord, even if it isn't with Xavier. His father will take his place" I look at him with horror as he said that. What the fuck does he mean.
"You should be happy, he still wants you after you've been used and made dirty by his useless son"
"We have to go" he yells getting up.
"I'm going to put you too sleep now" he smiled
I looked down at the corridor a saw Stephanie lying on the floor in blood, with two men in black standing above her. Her eyes were opened looking at me but there wasn't live inside. Where is Dan, what did they do to him!
"Leave the others as a present for him" he says smiling down at me
"Stephanie,no!" I said weakly. Did he kill her? I felt a pinch in my neck, I knew what was coming next.
"Sleep now princess" I felt him brushing my hair with his fingers as my eyes became heavy.
"Don't forget the food" I tell Alan when he opened the car door. I know Vanessa most be hungry so I stopped to get her McDonald's on the way home. It was also a way of apologising about leaving her in the morning. I knew she probably threw up again, I wanted to be there, make sure she was okay. But I had things I had too take care of.
"No matter how many food you get here she will still hate you for what you did" he reminded me
"Shut the fuck up" I tell him getting out of the car and closed the door. I can't wait too see her, hold her in my arms. She doesn't know the affect she has on me. I need her the way I needed oxygen. I know I need to tell her what I did, but not right now. I need to have a talk with Stephanie too keep her mouth shut. I can't have her telling Vanessa things that will upset her.
"Xavier the front door is opened" Alan says besides me. I looked at the dark house, weird the lights wasn't on.
I ran up to the front door my heart racing, the atmosphere felt eerie. I pushed the door opened, listening for their voice. Normally I would hear friends playing on the tv. But the house was dead silent. Looking at Alan trying to hide the fact that I was scared that she wouldn't be there
"Wait" he called as walked in
"Vanessa!" I yelled once I got in
"Vanes.." words left my mouth when I saw Stephanie on the floor. I ran to her, seeing blood on the floor. At this point I knew they had her.
"Stephanie!" Alan yelled seeing her
"Is she alive!" He asked panicked looking at me.
I looked at her paled face, I looked at the bullet hole in her head. I knew she was a dead, her hands were cold when I touched her. She have been dead for a while.
"No, no no!" Alan picked up her dead body in his arms "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he kept whispering.
I got up slowly, looking at the stairs expecting Vanessa too come down smiling at me. But it was empty, she wasn't there. They took her, I wasn't here to save her. I promised I wouldn't let them take her. They took her and my baby. I fell to my knees, drowning out Alan screams over his dead sister. I knew this was josh behind this. The next time I see him I will empty a gun in him.