31 I love you
Two weeks had passed since that night. The days were going slowly. I would go to bed with Xavier but wake up alone. I didn't know were he was going everyday. When I asked his response was, business. He would leave before I was awake and be back in the evening.
Then he would take me on a drive. Not too far from the house. The car ride was always silent, he would just hold my hands and drive for like 10 minutes. I enjoyed it, after been inside for the whole day I started looking forward to our drive.
He never left me alone in the house. He always had Dan stay with me. I would ask Dan where he was going everyday but he never replies. He just sat down reading a book or watching the tv. He didn't really speak much. I knew Xavier put him there to watch me.
As for Cara, I hardly saw her. She wasn't staying with us. She just came to make the food and clean. Which I told Xavier that I could do it. But he insisted that it was her job and she liked doing it.
The first night in the house, she walked in on us doing it which was modifying. She didn't even knock on the door. She walked in and saw us. Her face was red as she ran out. I screamed and pushed Xavier off me. Embarrassed. Xavier was just laughing saying it wasn't a big deal. I wonder what she was trying to do at night. She knew we were in the room. So I knew it wasn't a mistake. I made sure I locked the door everything night now.
The second night my period came. I ran out of bed waking Xavier. I was so relieved and happy that I wasn't pregnant. But I couldn't leave the bathroom cause I didn't have a tampon or pad. I sat there for a while before Xavier knock on the door asking if I was okay. I don't know why I was so embarrassed to ask him to get me tampon. After everything we had done one would think I would be comfortable enough.
He was banging on the door saying he would break it down if I didn't open it. I opened it after a few minutes and told him what happened. He looked at me silly and said there was nothing wrong with that. He said it was natural and wasn't my fault. Then called Scott to bring me the things I needed.
Scott came running in with all kinds of tampons and pads. I think it could last me a whole year. It wasn't even embarrassed by it, it was too funny. He said he couldn't decide and bought one of each.
Xavier also got me the pill, so I wouldn't worry about me being pregnant. He also said he doesn't want a kid, which kinda hurt my feelings but I couldn't be bothered by it. I started taking the day I was off my period. I felt happy now we were being safe. Even though he hadn't touch me see the first night.
I was really emotional, crying at any single thing. I think Xavier was getting tired of it. He thought getting the other half of the closet filled with clothes for me would make me happy. But it made me cry again. He took it as a I didn't like the clothes but I told him it was happy tears. I now had my own clothes to wear. Finally. And he made sure to get everything I needed.
It was finally October the 4th my birthday. The weather was getting colder. I didn't tell Xavier today was my birthday, I was never a fan of birthdays. But my mother always planned me a party even when I never wanted one. I was still grateful for it. But now it was like I didn't want to do anything on my birthday.
I woke up to an empty bed again. I had the same routine everyday. I would wake up and be down by 10 I have breakfast with Dan and take my pill. I kept it in the kitchen so I could easily that it. Did some yoga to keep me busy and tried my best avoiding Cara. Which was easy cause she hardly spoke to me. But I would catch her staring at me once a while, which was weird but I left it.
But instead of Dan or Cara. I saw Xavier back standing in kitchen making breakfast.
"Erm hi" I said confused. I thought he already left to where ever he went.
"Morning" he turned around smiling
I moved towards the counter sit slowly and confused. I didn't even know he could cook. It was filled with waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage and toast. This was a whole meal. I looked him surprised, did he make this for me.
I saw a red box and a box of white roses making me stop. He knew.
"You didn't actually think I didn't know your birthday?" he said smirking at me
I didn't know he knew. I never told him the date.
"You didn't have to do this" I chocked out trying not too cry.
"Yes I did, and you deserve way more than this"
I couldn't stop the tears now. I didn't expect him to do this. He's been so distant lately. I thought he was regretting this.
"Hey, don't cry this is a good thing" he pulled me close to him wrapping his arm around me.
"I don't like it when you cry baby"
"This is happy tears" I said laughing
"I just didn't expect you to do this"
"Come on open let open the present" he pulled away giving me a quick kiss
I looked down at the counter and saw a Cartier box. I gasped and looked at him shocked. He was smiling down at me.
"You got me jewellery!" I screamed
"Open it" he said laughing
I picked it up with my shaking hands. I mean my dad gets me jewellery but not from Cartier. I opened it slowly, as if it would disappear. It was a bracelet. It was gold and had little holes with diamonds inside. It was beautiful, this must have cause him a lot of money.
"It's beautiful, I love it" I whispered touching it.
"I love you"
He looked at me shocked as I said that. I haven't said it to him before. The night he said it was amazing but I just couldn't say it back. But now I know, I loved him.
"What did you say?"
"I love you" I said again smiling.
And I did. I loved him. I felt like screaming it to the world.
Before I knew it he slam his lips against mine aggressively making me drop the box. Allowing me access to his mouth. I slide my tongue against his, and I lets out soft of sounds as my hips buck against his hand. He hadn't touch me like this in days.
His hands run up my back as he pulls me closer to him. I can feel him hardening, straining the crotch of his pants, heat rushing through me at the sensation. My fingertips tingle with the urge to touch him.
My hands drift down between us. I reach for his jeans, fumbling with the buckle for a second. He grabbed my hand making me pull back and start to pout when he undoes his zip, making work of his button and zipper, before pulling me back to him for another kiss.
I don't waste my chance. The second he lets go, my hand slips into his pants and wraps around his cock. I pull it out between us, stroking it as I kiss him back with everything in me.
He's warm, so damn warm. I can feel him growing in my palm, hardening.
My thumb grazes the head, feeling the bead of wetness. I suddenly want to taste it, run my tongue along the slit and take him in my mouth, but he doesn't give me the chance.
He grasps my hips, pulling me toward him, grinding himself against me. "Let me inside of you."
The words make me shiver. It's been weeks. He placed me on the counter and stepped in between my thighs.
I don't take off the dress I was wearing, I slipped the skimpy fabric of my thong aside, grateful I wore this dress, I wanted something free. I lift up and sink down onto him, my eyes rolling in the back of my head.
I shift my hips, kissing him deeply, savoring every second he's inside of me. It's unlike any other time, this was slow and steady. My hands seek out his, our fingers entwining, as he presses them against his chest.
He breaks the kiss as he tilts his head back, his eyes closed, his lips parted as he lets out a shaky breath. I kiss his mouth, his cheek, my lips traveling all over his face, exploring his skin. He doesn't move, doesn't do anything but squeeze my hands tighter, pressing them against him harder.
He's a tornado of emotion I can't begin to understand, but I love it. I love him. I want every cell of him in every cell of me, because when he's inside of me, I feel beautiful. I feel strong. I feel like I know what love means.
Love means turning yourself inside out, handing yourself over to somebody else, and trusting them... trusting them to touch you, to handle you, to bend you, but never, ever break what you give them.
Fuck, I love him.
"I love you." The words tumble from my lips as a strained whisper, a shuddering breath forced from me as the butterflies take flight in my stomach, constricting my chest until I can't fucking breathe.
His eyes slowly open to meet my gaze. It was cold and emotionless.
He doesn't move, doesn't react—stares at me so hard it feels like he's eye-fucking my soul, like maybe he thought he heard me, but it couldn't have possibly been so. I don't think anyone ever told him that.
So I say it again. "I love you."
"I love you," I say for the third time. "I lo—"
I'm cut off mid-word when he roughly pushes my back on the counter, one hand clutches my hip to keep me in place as his other hand settles on my neck. He thrusts inside of me hard, and I gasp, the noise cut off when put his hand around my throat and squeezes.
My chest viciously burns when I try to inhale, pressure mounting inside of me. He fiercely thrusts into me again and again, not letting go of my neck.
My vision blurs, time standing still, as his fingers press against my throat.
I can't breathe.
My hands clutch his arm, grasping it as tightly as he's pressing against my neck. I claw at the skin of his arm, trying to pull him But he doesn't budge.
Ten seconds that last an eternity as he chokes me. The pressure builds until it has nowhere else to go, blackness speckling my vision as I explode.
It's terrifying, the way my body seems to have caught fire, it off inside of me, straight to my core. I inhale sharply, my lungs hungrily breathe in air as the weight of his hands loosen on my neck.
My body convulses, a shrill sound escaping me, I screamed.
Orgasm rocks me, tingling my scalp and curling my toes. I desperately try to catch my breath but everyone of my muscle spasm beneath him.
I was currently on the couch watching tv but I couldn't concentrate, my thoughts kept going back to this morning. My neck was still sore. We haven't spoken about. He left the second he was done. He pulled up his jeans and left.
I didn't know what happened. Did I say or do something wrong. Everything was going well before he snapped. He grew cold and walked out. The food long forgotten and the present.
Dan was here not too long after he left. But I haven't seen Cara all day. Maybe he gave her the day off. But I had this unsettling feeling in my stomach all afternoon.
I sat up when I heard his car. His back. I sat up and tried to look busy. I pick up the remote not knowing what to do. God this is so pathetic, how did I get here. I was saying I loved him this morning.
I flicked through the channel and stopped at the new. The remote fell out my hands when I saw it. A picture of me smiling on tv. The day my father took that picture came flashing back. It was one summer day we had gone to the beach that day, I remember laughing at lot. I heard a distance sound of a door closing.
"The missing senator Morales daughter was found late last night. Her body was found near the beach house she was allegedly missing from."
"She was last seen at a party, three weeks ago. And was found unrecognisable due to the water. The police were able identified her by a DNA test."
"It is now a closed investigation. It is to believed she was really drunk and wandered off too close to the lake and fell in. Her friends claimed she already fell in the pool prior to this and couldn't walk in a straight line. The police are calling this a freak accident"
"Our thoughts and prayers are with her friends and family. Her father senator John Morales haven't addressed this yet"
I was dead?
How is that possible, I was standing right here.
What the actual fuck!!