3 Negotiating with a Prankster
The girl in front of me did little to hide her amusement. Her wide smile revealed two rows of snow-white teeth, amongst them four canines which only further diminished the believability of the guilt she had expressed.
«She totally is having the time of her life!»
"Of course I am! It has been ages since I was last visited, after all!"
"Wait for a second!? Do you read my mind?!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
"Whatever! I'm totally not buying it!"
«This girl! She would be the best if only she would keep her mouth shut!»
She instantly froze. For a split-second she just stood there, staring at me in disbelief, then she avoided my eyes. A slight red grew on her fair skin.
"Bu- but we only know each other for a few minutes!" She answered with a badly faked stammer.
"Who would want to date you!?"
I took several deep breaths. I couldn't let her fool me like this. She was just playing with me! If I wanted to have a chance, I had to take control of this!
"You said you could help me?"
"I mean I could, but..."
"You can't send me back!?"
"You really want to go back?"
"Of course I do! I have to meet Mira!"
"Will you be fine without your little friend?"
«Without my frien- what?! She cannot give me back my balls?!»
"Of course I can't!"
"But you are a goddess?! Why wouldn't you be able to do that?!"
"I don't even know how it is supposed to look like! I can't just use a random thing and attach it to you! It won't work the way it is supposed to!"
"...the way it is supposed to."
For whatever reason, I imagined myself just standing there in the nude, with my precious friend having changed its shape into a crooked tree branch. Mira was standing in front of me, looking at it in shock as leaves began growing all over it. There were even two apples taking the spot something entirely else should be at. A cold shiver went over my back.
«Everything but that!»
"Is there something else you can do for me?! Anything will do!"
"I can send you to a different world~" She suggested with a new grin painted on her cherry-red lips. "You would even have a healthy body, you know~?"
"A different world?!"
"Yes! It has foxes, foxgirls, fox-"
I immediately cut off her words. "No! Just no!"
"Can't you send me to a normal world? And give me a normal body?"
"Isn't a fantasy world way better? You could be a hero and do magic!"
"Who would want to be a hero?"
"So what!? It is my life! I don't need it to be thrilling!"
"You are dead, though."
"Let's just send you to the afterlife! Those geezers will love playing with your little-"
"Let's just do it, ok? But my rules!"
A new smile grew on her face. She knew she had won, or at least she believed so. Naturally, I wouldn't give up like this. Sure, she was a goddess, but it seemed she was easy to sway! I could ask for whatever I wanted as long as she deemed it to be interesting.
"Your rules?" She asked after thoroughly enjoying the moment. "What are they?"
"You will send me to the other world!"
"And I will have a healthy body."
"Down there, too!"
"I would never send you away with your crotch pixelated."
I took a few deep breaths, trying to the ease the urge that tells me to strangle this girl.
"And I want to be able to use magic."
«Why is she so reasonable, suddenly? Is she tricking me?! This vixen!»
The girl suddenly started clapping. "You finally got it right! Good girl!"
"Stop calling me little missy!"
"No fun ..."
"I am not your toy!"
"You are such a killjoy~"
"Stop play- whatever! I don't care! One last wish!"
"I want to be with Mira."
"I can do that."
"Of course. I am a goddess, you know? I can do everything!"
"So you totally do not remember giving me... nothing down there? Mrs. Goddess?"
"That was an accident~ an accident!"
I felt something inside of me break. "HOW CAN THAT BE AN ACCIDENT?! YOU DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE A HOLE FOR ME TO PEE!!"
"So loud~! You are hurting my ears!"
"I. DO. NOT. CARE!"
"Just send me off! Please!"
She finally gave up on joking with me. The goddess readied herself, before, with just a wave of her arms, summoning a pale green mist. It surrounded me like a small tornado, blurred my vision and slowly consumed my consciousness.
«Did she just?! Did she really just call me 'missy' again?! I will-»
"Kon-kon! Welcome to Vixen Air - Your foxy travel agency with destinations... everywhere!"
«I don't care anymore ...»
⊱————- Extra ————-⊰
Riku: What is that ringing noise?!
???: Oh! Bed time~
???: See you tomorrow!
Riku: What?! You will just leave me here?!
???: Don't worry, the grim reaper won't find you in here, probably...
???: It will be fiine~ When he comes, just shout 'Kon-kon!' at him!
???: He will be totally annoyed by it!
Riku: Who wouldn't be...